Confessions
by Anony-Mousy
Summary: A Scene addition for 'The Kiss' Something that Jack said is bothering Sue so she decides to ask him about it.


**A/N**: One shot: Scene addition for the episode 'The Kiss' A bit of a strange one but I've tried to make it canon to the rest of the series. Not even sure which category to file it under! Personally, I'm more of a 'rules are made to be broken' kinda girl. ;-D

**Disclaimer**: The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Paxson Entertainment. I'm just having a bit of fun with them.

o-xxx-o

**Confessions**

o-xxx-o

They'd been caught up in another of their long farewells neither of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye but this time it was even harder, the memory of the kiss hanging heavily between them. Jack knew he should say something, he owed her some sort of an apology at the very least for what he'd said as they walked back to the car. He hadn't meant it the way it had come out… he cringed inwardly as he replayed the moment in his head…

_"You know that moment back there, it was a response to a situation."_

_ "It was very effective."_

_ "'cause I would never… Well I mean…"_

He'd seen the flash of hurt on her face and attempted to backtrack but as usual when the conversation between them turned personal he'd started to babble and the more he'd tried to rationalise his actions the more confused he'd become, not helped by the jolt of electricity that had passed through him when they'd accidentally touched hands.

True, his intention in the beginning was to prevent them being caught out but as soon as his lips touched hers he couldn't think straight and when she'd returned the kiss in kind, responding with both mouth and hands he'd forgotten where he was, why he was there and even his own name. The light coming on had startled him and then when they'd left he'd felt guilty that he'd let it go so far and become so intense. He'd wondered how she felt about it. Did she think he'd taken advantage of the situation? Did she feel the same passion that he had? He'd noticed the flush on her cheeks – maybe he'd embarrassed or offended her? He'd concluded that the last option had to be the correct one and in an effort to protect himself, had said the first thing that had come into his head. Yes, he definitely owed her some kind of explanation.

"Sue…" He began hesitantly and then stopped, realising that she had turned away and wouldn't even know that he was speaking to her. Thrusting his hands deep into his pockets he headed for home.

"Jack…" When she looked he was already walking away and disappointment washed over her. There was a question that she really needed to ask him.

Sensing his mistress' mood the Golden Labrador barked loudly to get Jack's attention.

"Levi, no!" she scolded but it was too late, he'd heard the dog, turned around and was hurrying back to her.

Sue just stood there and stared at him uncertainly. Now that she had him there she had no idea what to say.

"You okay?" Jack asked worriedly.

"Yes, fine…"

"Did you need something?"

"No, I… No…" she finished lamely.

"Sorry, I thought you'd asked Levi to get my attention. Good night." He started to walk away again but she grabbed his arm.

She hesitated and then took the plunge. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure…"

She gazed at him for a moment wondering if she should voice the question in her head after all but knowing if she didn't get an answer one way or the other she wouldn't be able to sleep. "Did you mean what you said?"

He thought he already knew what direction the conversation was going to take but settled for "What was that?"

"That if it wasn't for the undercover, you would never ever have wanted to kiss me?"

Jack just stared at her in silence, not knowing how to answer.

Tears started to form in her eyes and she quickly turned away wishing she hadn't even broached the subject. "Never mind, I'm sorry… Good night."

"Sue, wait…" He followed her through the glass doors and caught her as she started to climb the stairs. When she looked at him he could see the hurt and humiliation in her eyes and the thought that he'd been the cause was gut-wrenching. "Sit down, please…"

She sat warily on the third step and Jack settled on the one below her while Levi made himself as comfortable as he could.

Using his thumb, Jack tenderly wiped away a stray tear from her cheek before looking down and taking hold of her hand. He knew that this time there was no room for mistakes or misunderstandings - he had to get it right first time. When he felt ready he took a deep steadying breath and looked into her unhappy face.

"Sue, you have no idea how many times I've wanted to kiss you or take you in my arms and just hold you…"

"But…?"

"It's not that simple."

"Is it because I'm deaf?" she asked sadly.

"No! Why would you even think that?" His reply had been sharper than he'd intended but the implication had stung him, especially as he'd never treated her any differently than any of his other colleagues.

"It usually is… Most of the other men…"

"I'm not other men."

"Then why?"

"Because…" He took another deep breath and decided to lay it on the line. "Because it scares me… We scare me."

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't. How can I..?" He sighed and changed tack. "You asked about the kiss… It was just supposed to be a way of extricating us from an awkward situation and with anyone else that's all it would have been, but with you it was different…"

A little flicker of hope began to burn inside her but she needed more. "How was it different?"

He shook his head, fighting the urge to run and hide from what she was forcing him into. "I got lost… When you kissed me back I forgot everything around me. Hell, I almost forgot how to breathe." Revisiting the memory caused an unexpected wave of desire to course through him and he fell silent as he tried to suppress it.

"Jack…" She prompted softly.

He shook himself mentally. "Now there's a good case in point." He gave her a faint smile. "Just _thinking_ about kissing you has me in a daze."

She couldn't help but smile but she knew there was more to come.

"And that's why the Bureau has the no-dating rule and why we can't do this, not now… not yet… I want you to know that I've never felt this way about anyone before and I can't handle letting myself fall in love with you and working with you at the same time. We get into too many dangerous situations and, as the Team Leader, I'd be the one sending you into them. I don't know what I'd do if we were that deeply involved and something happened to you because of me… It's hard enough as we are now…"

She squeezed his hand sympathetically. "Then where does that leave us?"

"Until I can figure out exactly what I want and how to deal with my feelings, would it be alright with you if we stayed as we are? This whole thing has completely blind-sided me and I'm as conflicted as hell." He sighed apologetically.

Sue stood and gathered up Levi, she'd gotten more out of him than she'd ever expected. Jack tugged her sleeve to get her attention again.

"Are we okay?" he asked nervously.

"We're okay but don't make me wait too long, I may get a better offer."

"I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Good night."

"Good night."

o-xxx-o


End file.
